4-21: National Damn Day

CAN I GET A DAMN?

Yesterday was 4-20. That was fun for the potheads. Today is 4-21, National Damn Day. It’s a very obscure holiday that I and some of my buddies in college came across when we found some old manuscripts in a cave along the Lewis & Clark trail. After finding these artifacts, we decided to bring the holiday back to life. We also ran out of toilet paper, so we used the manuscripts, which were surprisingly soft, then buried them, so that bears would not eat us.

Today is the only day of the year everything can be damned without consequences. Damn whatever you want. Go buck wild with your damn self. Most people don’t know this, but on any other day of the year anything you damned would be condemned to an eternity in the fiery depths of hell. Yes, that’s how powerful the word "damn" is. That’s why we only use it when talking about damn Zach Braff or damn Natalie Portman. I mean, we don’t want everybody to go to hell, do we?

For more on the history of "D-Day" I turn it over to my dear friend, co-founder of The Damn Papers, damn historian and Damn Day observer, Dr. J.T. Nice III.


“The first Damn Day was celebrated by our founding fathers the day after the Puritans decided to puff the ganja. In the words of our Amos Whitley (1793)


our Amos Whitley

‘Wherefore we have come tither, we shall not partake of the inhalation of a controlled substance. No, in inhalation’s stead we shall curse. We shall curse and be free from retribution. Our sons shall curse and work the fields with a clean conscious!’

I and my young son will celebrate by having our holiday Spam and swearing. He is learning ‘da da’ and already knows ‘ma ma’ so he basically knows all the parts of the word. He just needs to get them in the right order.”


So there you have it folks. If you are in the Las Vegas area, I would suggest celebrating at the Hoover Dam. While you’re there, ask the dam tour guide if the Hoover Dam is in fact a "God dam."

Live it up.

Damn it all.

It’s your damn right.

DAMN!