I HAVE 24 HOURS TO LIVE

April Fools! Ha! Gotcha! Had ya there for second, huh?

If you didn’t know it already, it’s April Fool’s Day, the one day of the year everyone’s allowed to be funny, even people who aren’t funny the other 364 days of the year. I blame April Fool’s Day for the existence of things like rubber chickens, whoopee cushions and Wayne Brady.


not funny


still not funny


on second thought, rubber chickens are a riot!

Oh, and chalk up the utterly lame act of wearing a lampshade to April Fool’s Day while you’re at it.


I’m (the one who sucks) the life (out) of the party!

But no one enjoys April 1st more than Dave Coulier. Yes, that’s correct, even more than Carrot Top.


making John Stamos’ career look respectable

I am sure Dave, riddled with anticipation the night before, stays awake giddy about the barrage of totally terrific gags he will assault America with.


“Hey everybody! I can see Bob Saget’s butt!”

Don’t think this guy didn’t load up the days before at Ye Olde Magic Shoppe, spending hours deciding between plastic flies or plastic roaches. "Seltzer bottle?" CHECK. "Squirting flower?" CHECK. "Exploding paper snake in peanut can?" CHECK AND DOUBLE CHECK.

I mean can you imagine what a laugh riot it would be to have Dave Coulier living with you?

You: Hey, who left this banana peel on the floor?

Dave: Oops! Don’t slip! Ha!

You: Could you throw it away please?

Dave: CUT IT OUT! (Accompanied with hilarious hand motion)


AUDIENCE LAUGHS ALONG WITH OLSEN TWINS

It would be non-stop hilarity. And by non-stop I mean non-existent.

Well Dave Coulier, enjoy your day. This is what you were born for.


“Uncle Joey, you’re a...wait for it...JACKASS!”

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA...eecccccchhh.